Added: Keyonia Stiles - Date: 06.01.2022 14:46 - Views: 19384 - Clicks: 8268
I read this on Goodre. This wisdom arrived late in my life. Probably years after I had my most intense breakup. So, have I mastered this wisdom now? I am not sure yet. Good for temporary mind-shift from the pain of heartbreak, but not something for long-term relief. You might ask. Everything started on a great note — with noble intentions to make things work, genuine affection to keep things moving, and an intact hope to create a long-lasting bond. But once the initial glitter years of the relationships passed by, real problems started to surface.
In no time intentions turned cruel, affection turned into suffocation, and all the hopes turned unrealistic. Surely not something we expected. Yet, we were made to face it all. I became clueless if my relationship was working for me, or if it was working against me. In my desperation of keeping a tag of relationship I almost forgot to keep a track of the deteriorating quality of my relationship. I was afraid to be left alone.
I feared heart-breaks. And moreover, she looked great too. Probably another reason for not wanting a breakup I doubted my skills to find another one like her.
I lacked the courage to make a decision. She gathered the courage to make the right choice. She was brave. It came late to me that not every relationship turns out as expected, not every love story gets to see the dawns, not every time our choices are sane.
We both continued to suffocate into emptiness, also pushed ourselves harder to force affection and continued to breathe in life in an almost dead relationship. Yet, nothing could save that breakup from happening. We just invested too much of time and energy into a mismatched relationship.
She understood that the right decision at the right time matters more than the right decision at the wrong time. Let me ask you, why are you afraid to take the right decision? In my case, It was issues of poor self-image and low self-esteem. Actually, it is. I realize that now. But how to figure out that your relationship has turned south?
How to be aware of the right, and wrong? Well, to make it a little simpler, here are the s to look for when you have tough decisions to make and bold steps to take. Before you get into action mode, do consider a few things. Nobody knows it better but just you.
Not every below-mentioned may apply to your situation and not every is pointed towards you. Its sole purpose is to help you to audit your relationship, and to take further steps accordingly. Light arguments, occasional heat-ups, and little stress are common in any relationship. In a healthy relationship, people are always eager to sort out things, no matter big or small, because they owe to their relationship and to each other. When ego overshadows all the mutual love, it gets tough for any relationship to survive. Stress starts to pile up, making even tougher for both the partner to create a harmonious relationship.
Erected spines never create lifelong relationships. Because for any relationship to survive, mutual respect towards each other is inevitable. And there is a certain limit that both of the partners need to take care of. Nobody is entitled to cause abuse of any kind to anyone.
Having different choices and interests is too small for a reason to call it quits. Of course, having different opinions for choices of preferable cuisines, or sharing different political, sociological, or even religious beliefs is no big deal. Even love for different marvel superheroes is exempted from it. No one would encourage you to call for a breakup for these petty issues. However, if those opinions and viewpoints have turned intense which is making it hard for both of you to be on the same.
Once you leave it, it shall be back to its original shape. Pulling each other in different directions is wastage of both time and energy. Rather cut the wire loose. And walk away. Am sure you do. Why you should suffer this pain of distrust?
Whatever it is. Just ask yourself; would your partner forgive you if you had done the same? But, ask yourself, would you really be able to forgive your partner for his acts? Would it really be possible for you to get past his cheating? Would it be possible for you to turn the blind and act as nothing happened?
Look for the honest answers to these questions, and you will know what should be the right thing to do. Little-Sweet things done out of care, love, and compassion often makes a big difference to any relationship.
We, humans, survive on compassion and belongingness, especially when it comes to the person we are emotionally attached to. Getting over the past is a tough job. Parting ways physically is not the hard part, letting it go mentally is what takes ages sometimes. Everyone has their own fair share of heart-breaks and have spent a huge chunk of time to get over it. Some of us are still stuck between a war of heart and mind.
If you are in a relationship where either of you has refused to let go of the past, and instead of focusing on the present relationship, the past memories hijack the attention, then it might get tough for both of you to bond well to nurture this relationship. In many cases, people get into rebounding relationships hoping to get past their relationship.
Their new relationship is just a way to escape the memories of the old ones. They put their hope and burden on their new partner to help them get over their old relationship, which makes it a tough job for their partner to fill those gaps of past. These types of relationships rarely get to see the dawns, but rather end even before the dusks. Do you find calling and texting to your partner a hectic job? Has your relationship become more of a duty than being an inseparable part of your life? In a relationship where love speaks for itself, emotions flow naturally.
What matters is the acknowledgment of it. But, for how long you can fake it? Can you do it for your whole life? I fear so. Happy relationships are the source of happiness and positivity. Whereas, if you are in a stressful and negative relationship, then maybe you are not in the right relationship.
If in your relationship, rather than creating happiness together, you are constantly struggling to even get a little smile on your face, maybe you are unlocking the wrong lock with the right key. Or, right lock with the wrong key. To have someone so close to us, someone loving and caring, that imagining even a few hours away from them seems hollow.
Watching Netflix together, going for dinner dates, walking hands in hands on the beach while gazing the night sky, is something most of us crave to experience with our partner. It becomes so hard to imagine even a single moment without having them on our side. However, there are also relationships that fall distances apart. They often start with a good intention and an exciting note but turn boring as the times passes. Tensions start to build around the relationship, doubts and questions take the majority of the mind-peace and time and then comes a time when closeness loses its meaning.
Some people find joy when they are not around their partner. The distance makes more sense than closeness. They turn blank and find it hard to even initiate a conversation with their partner. They fall out of words and expressions and have to fake around their partner just because they are too sweet to speak the truth.
We, the humans, are hormonally wired to appreciate the beauties around us. However, this becomes a big issue when you find yourself constantly attracted to other people but your partner. It becomes a point of consideration when you lose your focus and interest in your partner and are always drooling for others.
A good amount of mutual attraction is required for any couple to keep them glued with each other. A genuine romantic quotient does matter in a relationship. Love indeed serves as the basis of creating a balanced long term relationship, but for even love to happen, a certain attraction towards each other is essential too. Some of you might refuse it, but tell me when you find yourself proposing a person you were least attracted too?
Every relationship, even the non-romantic one, needs transparency and honesty to survive. No relationship can be built on piles on lies where two people are always lying to each other as per their comfort and intentions. Certainly, there are things that demand some level of maturity and understanding from our partner before we choose to share everything with them. Everybody has secrets that we restrain from disclosing to the world unless we trust someone completely. But, there are few people who are voluntarily dishonest towards their partner. They lie about each and everything, and never let their real self disclose to anybody.
Relationships based on lies and dishonesty turn rotten with time. And, if trusting your partner is something you find hard, then confront them and let them know what you think about them and this relationship. At times, we end up making decisions that we regret later on; sometimes out of rush, sometimes out of misunderstandings, sometimes out of wrong judgments, and sometimes by mistakes. As I said these are merely general s, not a complete picture.
If you believe that there are still chances that your relationship can be saved, and if you are sure you are with the right person, then I encourage you to talk about it with your partner and sort things out. Medium is an open platform where million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface.Sign to break up with your boyfriend
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When (and How) to Break Up with Someone You Love